Let’s breed your family dog with my family do

Your religious beliefs with mine
We can say Jesus existed
He was good looking, charismatic and once did a magic trick

If we still hate the cat tomorrow
Let’s tie him to the train tracks

When we all smoked catnip together, I lied
I did feel different

Something else I didn’t tell you was when I was in the WNBA
I had a very poor shooting streak and couldn’t admit it
I’d miss a three-point attempt and pretend it was an ally-oop
“Where were you Swoops?! The ball was there,” I’d say, “But where the hell were you?”

I’m not joking, I’m crying
Julia Roberts won a Golden Globe and I’m about to get my period
Maybe I’ll get it now
or now
guess later

When I touched your nose before, it was a signal to God
This one, please put this nose on my kid
When I have one, this nose
When I have one, this kid

All I know is one thing:
Hairs really love to grow out of a mole
A home run feels nice cuz everyone can take their time
People marry easy and it’s like playing Blackjack scared

Also, that Thanksgiving didn’t happen how they said
All it was, was two Indian boys who shared some deer meat with two Pilgrim girls
and (big surprise)
their families freaked out
The girls got sent to boarding school, the boys were sent into the woods to “think”
And not even the same woods
The boys were sent to two different woods that were very far apart
One of them died

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