potluck hell

I never liked this and you Julia
all the foods and their friends
give me a headache
Im no more reunion head of the personality complex the lost friend the dead friend whatever
I only had male heroes
my girlfriends had troubles with their families
I was on your online list of ex friends
the picture of me where I look fat and you look happy about that
the sticky acquaintance
I meant to call the other Dina
the hot Dina

at the factory

lets say I was in charge and someone knocked 
I could say I was busy even if only I wanted to stay where I was thinking by myself

days I slave in a guitar factory
there is no music
the dust clings to skin and long skinny panes of glass

lets say I was on smoke break and the smoke was liquid smoke and ran down my face and let me have another break after that one, an extra fat moment

these guitars are floppy and don't pass inspection

there are animals places and materials
here is a collection behaving badly
trying for the sex look of elcetric
puddling in my hand on the assembly line


the spoon

his name was Spoon and he was only inches
he came onto me and everyone giggled
the fruit salad mixed and blended until it all tasted the same

Spoon thought he could make me feel good
"I already feel good" I lied

the party was for Celeste, but really it was a surprise party for Molly
Celeste was crushed

at parties like this I got into conversations then abruptly drifted towards the food 
a guilt wagon, longing in no directions, eyeing my shoes by the door

the spoon danced around badly
"Where did you get him?" everyone asked
"At the magic store on Route 10"
"How much ?" asked Molly, drunk and happy
"ten bucks"
"Ten bucks?" I said absently
"Too much!" the spoon replied and gaily tripped on the table

this girl

she couldn't stop britney spearing                                
it was the only songs she knew
she was dark from lazy sun
the machine took pictures intermittently
"I look gross" she would say
and she did drugs

when im with yall its like im wearing the family panties and i like it
the pool bleeds neon and no one is sharp
my plant is in the garage because it has spider mites again

there was a party but the birthday was a month later
fireworks went off and we couldn't see them
rain was like a hi-tech thing the pool had come with


April 17, 18, 24 and 25 at 7:30 pm, and April 19 and 26 at 2 pm
a great light recorded a guitar demo

a lady's baby
a strange lady

the house heaves its windows
heat wilts mini bonsais
baby baby palm trees
all weak shrunk plants

friends make the points of a shape
in a craft of melted plastic and
wispy hairy yarn

moms pump out an illusion of space
your car is sagging ass


I was high with a fish
it was pretentious (my friend's friend)
"This world is un-generous" it said
its mouth puckered and sucked

This world is spacious, I knew
its air is clear, except when smoke
a rain can tweed it
a snow just loves it

a man jumped from the bridge and we laughed
a man on the bridge laughed and we rolled our eyes

a family knows you when your dumb
it loams around while 

I used to hang out in photographs 
eating birthdays, growing sideways

"The word 'cast' shouldn't go with 'shadow'"
an object could lean 
a tree could cover light

hide that cigar in the grass 
please wait while I get my phone
we pushed a door that gave into a room the same size as ours but empty available and yearning with boredom

this is the kind of room you could get good at gymnastics in
there were onlookers to this wedding
there were kids crying they felt so intact


my mom fell during ping pong

My mom fell during ping pong.  Face down in the carpet.  Our paddles were old and cracked. They made a red rubber dust on the table.  People say I look like her.  My face stretched with crying.  Everyone laughed.  My mom made fun. She said she was fine.  Her sneaker was torn.  Later, she'd admit that her hand did still hurt. Later, we freaked out at each other and my friends laughed more and said me and my mom were like two sides of a mirror and it was like one person freaking out at themselves.  We had released a squirrel from my dad's trap. "That is like putting your finger in your father's eye," my mom said.  The squirrel had stuck a tiny hand out the cage, and dug like to start a delusional hole to China.  His arm was so like the arm of a cartoon squirrel.  We released him and he zagged.  We saw a snapping turtle standing near the highway and tried to nudge it.  Its eyes were wet and personal.  Its beak was wry and cruel. We tried to and it snapped.  We were impressed and estranged from it.  My friends left and it was me, and I went outside and saw a cat puke.  I put peanuts in my dad's trap and reset it. Earlier, there had been a groundhog and I gave my friends the binoculars.  Since my dog died, a massive movement of life has bothered his area.  Once my dog was sleeping and wild turkeys slinked across the yard.  My mom would stack tennis balls in an "art installation" for him to destroy.  He flipped his food on the ground.  He did not eat his hair like other dogs do. Now we are impotent and bored.  The ride was short and now its done.  No one will love us except each other and not with any guts or pep.